Enough
Playing it safe isn’t an option if I want to be able to look back on this time and know that I did enough. Judy and I have been given so many opportunities with our new careers, our new city, and our new lifestyle—we can’t afford to squander this time. For me, doing enough means not letting fear drive decisions. I can’t be afraid to take on new challenges at work or try new experiences in my personal life. Keep growing and continue evolving is the plan.
Work
Back in 1999 I was putting together a team and raising money for my latest venture—an Internet startup running a website to host construction project information. It was a crazy time and a very emotional ride because it coincided with a growing fissure between me and my business partners. We had disagreements over the management of our existing software company and thought spinning off this new venture would give us some space to work apart. This transition forced me into taking on new roles and there was money and my reputation riding on its success.
Connections
His date had brought her friend and neighbor, Judy, to the rink that night and, after introducing us, she and I were left alone together as our mutual friends skated. She was kind enough to look past my bad hair and skate with me.
A Beatles song came on as we coasted around the oval and we discovered that we both loved their music—our first connection. This got me a second date. As we spent more time together, we found more commonalities and our relationship grew.
I owe Brian everything for making this connection and for opening the door to the 36 happiest years of my life.
Time
The point is that time is precious. It’s the most limited resource we have and needs to be treated as such. The last thing I said to a loved one might be the last time I get to speak to them. The last action I made could be my final statement about who I am, and I want to leave this world a more positive place than when I entered it.
Gratitude
That has brought me back to gratitude. I know that being thankful for what I have been given is critical to living a happy life. Unfortunately, there are times when I keep gratitude an arm’s length away. At those times, the funk that comes over me is emotional junk food—I know it’s not good for me, but I’m ingesting it anyway. A little funk is easy to digest and let pass, but too much and it affects me at the physical, emotional, and intellectual levels. The best way out is the cleansing power of gratitude.
Mocha
Yes, yes. Coffee isn’t real coffee with all the extras, but I was drinking—and enjoying—coffee. I have several friends that would never abuse their coffee this way. They also can tell if the beans were ground at the wrong speed and roasted for too long. I have no clue. It’s a miracle to me that I'm even drinking this stuff.
Vulnerable
My secret weapon to being useful is my ability to scrape together enough courage to get past my fear that you will scurry away when I disclose my flaws.
I’ll let you in on another secret of mine: Most of my articles are written as a stream of consciousness. If I don’t start writing when the thought or emotion hits me, chances are I’ll never finish it. Too many words of mine have withered and spoiled because I didn’t deliver them on time.